these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
