I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
