I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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