They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
