Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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