She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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