I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
