Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Randomize
