There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
