so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
