well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize