Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
