i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I love you. Go after that dick
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
