Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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