My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
