you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Holy sore nipples Batman
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
