It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
