ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
