He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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