Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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