This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
