Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
