brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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