My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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