You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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