best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
