Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
