Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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