pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Your tits are I can't wait for
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
