I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
