Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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