Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
