Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need water and some morals
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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