ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
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I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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