so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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