Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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