the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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