Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
