Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
