That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
