I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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