I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
