Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
