She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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