my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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