Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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