just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
