Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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