ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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