and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
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His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.