Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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(954): View more from Florida

all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser

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(719): View more from Colorado

There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.

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(707): View more from California

They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?

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(514): View more from Quebec

maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.

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(407): View more from Florida

The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.

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(530): View more from California

Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories

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