Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.

  (1-229): View more from Georgia

  You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair. (1-229): You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture? http://tfl.nu/5k8s
  Replies (55) Good night (1204) Bad night (4098)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it. http://tfl.nu/jrtc
  Replies (12) Good night (526) Bad night (2785)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day? http://tfl.nu/tvel
  Replies (19) Good night (3003) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps http://tfl.nu/x84f
  Replies (85) Good night (6317) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters http://tfl.nu/onkh
  Replies (20) Good night (1018) Bad night (3975)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on http://tfl.nu/unra
  Replies (20) Good night (6284) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front. http://tfl.nu/mrrz
  Replies (12) Good night (4586) Bad night (1574)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this. http://tfl.nu/3ewp
  Replies (11) Good night (4177) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever. http://tfl.nu/wqqf
  Replies (3) Good night (2211) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants http://tfl.nu/ctb5
  Replies (4) Good night (1763) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing? http://tfl.nu/q7mi
  Replies (6) Good night (2033) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings. http://tfl.nu/e4bs
  Replies (6) Good night (974) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd. http://tfl.nu/04nl
  Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity. http://tfl.nu/wgjy
  Replies (8) Good night (2420) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night http://tfl.nu/cijq
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (281)

Randomize