My first STD was from a foam party
it was like his penis was on wheels.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona