Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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