Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule

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  (906): Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule http://tfl.nu/j8zx
  Replies (1) Good night (1374) Bad night (597)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

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  (512): I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila. http://tfl.nu/7qws
  Replies (15) Good night (7883) Bad night (1027)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.

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  (609): Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares. http://tfl.nu/trym
  Replies (37) Good night (5311) Bad night (914)
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  (818): View more from California

  why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?

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  (818): why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing? http://tfl.nu/8p36
  Replies (26) Good night (1110) Bad night (3670)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.

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  (361): She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation. http://tfl.nu/alpd
  Replies (24) Good night (1200) Bad night (5792)
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  (914): View more from New York

  We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.

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  (914): We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial. http://tfl.nu/6p87
  Replies (49) Good night (6640) Bad night (3038)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It'll be just me and my penis against the world.

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  (314): It'll be just me and my penis against the world. http://tfl.nu/ph7y
  Replies (18) Good night (3640) Bad night (1018)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor

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  (716): Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor http://tfl.nu/4crz
  Replies (7) Good night (2472) Bad night (699)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.

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  (862): Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good. http://tfl.nu/j3wb
  Replies (6) Good night (2623) Bad night (1059)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.

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  (704): The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here. http://tfl.nu/9670
  Replies (2) Good night (1545) Bad night (587)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??

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  (701): i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this?? http://tfl.nu/hqqq
  Replies (8) Good night (770) Bad night (1268)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.

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  (443): I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste. http://tfl.nu/1x8j
  Replies (6) Good night (816) Bad night (451)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.

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  (817): I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up. http://tfl.nu/9qtu
  Replies (9) Good night (1202) Bad night (451)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.

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  (732): I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab. (848): No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've. http://tfl.nu/k222
  Replies (6) Good night (1048) Bad night (325)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar

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  (254): I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar http://tfl.nu/dkco
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (225)

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