Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I am a bulletproof tiger!

(615): View more from Tennessee

Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

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(828): I am a bulletproof tiger! (615): Haha. Nice, be careful tonight. (828): I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat? http://tfl.nu/tz40

Replies (6) Good night (1114) Bad night (563)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.

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(847): I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil. http://tfl.nu/z427

Replies (8) Good night (905) Bad night (1436)
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(347): View more from New York

I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.

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(347): I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth. http://tfl.nu/tax7

Replies (70) Good night (19474) Bad night (1283)
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(614): View more from Ohio

how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready

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(614): how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready http://tfl.nu/g5tv

Replies (17) Good night (10194) Bad night (753)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.

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(717): so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine. http://tfl.nu/pias

Replies (11) Good night (4758) Bad night (832)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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(847): Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do. http://tfl.nu/qkwv

Replies (16) Good night (983) Bad night (3718)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.

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(630): I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate. http://tfl.nu/tob7

Replies (18) Good night (5483) Bad night (1999)
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(406): View more from Montana

Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.

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(406): Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care. http://tfl.nu/dahm

Replies (8) Good night (886) Bad night (3001)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?

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(919): are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet? http://tfl.nu/54if

Replies (14) Good night (4309) Bad night (1230)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.

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(603): He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like. http://tfl.nu/awah

Replies (8) Good night (1269) Bad night (2700)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.

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(856): You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/7ekl

Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (1741)
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(614): View more from Ohio

They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.

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(614): They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/swbu

Replies (24) Good night (1416) Bad night (3577)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.

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(803): My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please. http://tfl.nu/htsn

Replies (5) Good night (1107) Bad night (598)
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(760): View more from California

I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.

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(760): I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL. http://tfl.nu/3gpf

Replies (3) Good night (396) Bad night (305)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK

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(484): Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK http://tfl.nu/qy4p

Replies (1) Good night (306) Bad night (330)

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