I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.