just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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