Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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