My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
