accomplished twins. life is a go
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
