its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
