cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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