I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
